They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
