I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
