I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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