There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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