She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
