we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize