Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
