so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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