no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
