i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
