do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
