but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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