I want to stick my p in your. b.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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