i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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