There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
