party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
please come you make the beer taste better
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
