There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
