some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
