I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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