im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
