yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
