very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Pooping to opera.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
