I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize