honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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