Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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