they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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