he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
