covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
