Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
smell my finger.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize