Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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