dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
