Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
