Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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