we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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