no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
