I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
