Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
