He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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