Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
