Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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