tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
