i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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