My nipple is on Facebook.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
In America we eat man semen.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
