we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
