she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize