The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
