brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize