I think my fart just growled at me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
