I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
