Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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