You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
