i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I thought spray tan was a myth
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
