508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
