Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
