she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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