I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
