dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
