Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
