sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
