Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize