You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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