I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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