Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
bring money and cleavage
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
