I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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