We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
