Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
