We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
