1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
