69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize