i jhust puked up my retainher.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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